'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times
'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro
**A Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year**
**Shortlisted for the National Book Awards**
**Longlisted for the Telegraph Sports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year**
You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and , without any actual in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.
So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.
We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.
I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?
 
 
 
 



        

            
            

                
Publisher
                
Ebury Press; Reprint edition (30 May 2019)
            
            
            

                
Paperback
                
304 pages
            
            
            

                
Dimensions
                
12.7 x 2.03 x 19.69 cm
            
            
            

                
Language
                
English
            
            
            

                
ISBN-10
                
1785039784
            
            
            

                
ISBN-13
                
978-1785039782
            
            
        

         





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